:: Tears of the Moon ::

:: Sunday, May 17, 2009 ::

I have a new obsession.

I'm geeking out on home decorating research for small homes and apartments.

I have about a year to go before I can move in, so I've been spending time looking at lots of decorating ideas and whatnot in different websites. Even started writing it down on a small notebook I keep in my bag. So many fun and creative ideas!

I figure, since I'm going to be a homeowner, I want to start it off right. I want to be prepared with well thought-out decisions on stuff.

Now, I'm glad that I have two architects at home. I don't have to start from the bottom up when it comes to bathroom fixtures, kitchen designs, ventilation, natural lighting, plumbing, etc. What I've been doing mostly is to look at what I'd like to see in the apartment. My current stress-out moments happen when I think about the kitchen and the bathroom.

The bathroom has zero natural light, so the challenge is to decorate and light it so that it's 1) bigger, and 2) not feel so dark and claustrophobic when the light is turned on. A big sink mirror is definitely a must-have. Then, painting and lighting on top of the basic white that the unit will come with: what color do I want the walls and tiles to be? What color lighting, and do I want wall sconces that automatically kick in when you hit the switch? How much storage can I fit in, in the way of drawers, cabinets, hooks and baskets? How do I organize all that, and still maximize the open space so it doesn't feel cramped in there?

I don't cook, but I want to learn. Thus, I intend to start right by having a respectable functioning kitchen, no matter how small. How much storage do I need, and which ones can do double duty as function plus storage? I don't plan to be only using the microwave.

Since the Food Network is my secret guilty TV pleasure, I am inspired by TV kitchens :) Ergo, I want my sink to be a bit deeper, have a under-counter ref, and a bright cherry red kitchen island. I'm thinking of a pot-rack overhead so I use the cabinets for other things (like actual dishes).

Some ideas are coming together, though. I definitely want an entryway cubby area to hold the keys, the landline, mail and bills. Maybe a few hooks to hang jackets and umbrellas. I remember in school, we kept a cleaner's closet where we stored all the classroom cleaning stuff. Brooms, mops and vacuum cleaners can fit in that closet, along with waxes, detergents and extra garbage stuff and laundry materials.

I don't have definite ideas about the living room except that I want the Kamiseta couch, and a flat screen TV I can hang on the wall framed with ornate wooden picture frames (so it actually looks like a black canvas when turned off)

:: D said @ 12:19 PM [+] ::
...

Understand, that, people in need of advice or guidance, look for two kinds of people:

One who is older, wiser and more experienced, or one who has gone through the ordeal and survived.

So, I wonder, and I'm worried. I hope you remember that, in a counseling role, you gotta be *in the moment*. You have to check your life problems out the door and listen to the other person's story. Give what you have, and share your experience. Listen.

Actively listen, and absorb. Gently guide. Don't judge. Be forgiving.

Right now, you're healing from a systemic emotional shock. You're the emotional equivalent of a person just brought back to life by a defibrillator. You have a second lease in life. The air is a little bit fresher, colors are a little bit sharper, food tastes better and your perspective a lot more sober. You're deeply grateful for the newly found friendships you've formed.

Which makes you a good person to talk to if I've suffered similar heartaches. But I'm also your friend. You're not out of the woods yet. And you have the tendency to 'check out' or 'space out' when you're thinking about your life.

I can't help but be worried - and skeptical - that you're jumping too fast into this 'serving' thing.

In the process of healing yourself, you share of yourself. And you'll realize there's more in you to give than you thought you did.

But remember - that people go there to heal, to think, to gather their bearings and see where they're going. Or, where they want to go. What they need from their counselors is someone to facilitate, someone who might need to guide, to moderate.

It's not a soiree for single heartbroken yuppies, even if that's a nice side benefit.

Remember, please remember. While your life experience will be invaluable in this endeavor, people who go there need their facilitators to listen. You have to remember to stop and listen. You have to tune out your real life because their needs come first, right there.

:: D said @ 5:50 PM [+] ::
...

1. I'm a moody, silent, grumpy person when I wake up. I hit the snooze button four times before getting out of bed. I don't like talking when I wake up and have a gravelly bedroom voice that takes me through the first three hours of my shift. I don't get to perk up till I've had my first caffeine hit of the day.

2. I'm a Nanny junkie. I can leave the TV on The Nanny marathon at the Hallmark channel. I still laugh at the same jokes.

3. I can quote the first two paragraphs of Erich Segal's book, "Love Story". The book, not the movie, is what hooked me. I found an old xeroxed copy of the book in a box in a relative's house in high school. The intro is what immediately sucked me into the story. It's short enough that you can read it within hours.

4. I do yoga in my spare time and twist myself like a pretzel. I yoga because it's interesting, and it's a physical sport/activity I can somewhat excel in. For a book nerd, that's a big deal.

5. I can twist cherry stems with my tongue. Even while tipsy. Never fails to make people's eyes pop out when they see it done the first time.

6. I've been blogging since 2000. I keep my blogs and social networking sites completely separate, which means only a few people know how to go to both. It's my placeholder and practice for when I actually get off my ass and write The Novel.

7. I can peel a banana, an apple and a pear without touching, using only a fork and a butter knife. I can get corn out of the cob using the same. The things you learn in exclusive retreat centers..

8. I like my men articulate. Like Josh Lyman. And Sam Seaborn. Or Gil Grissom. John Mayer. Kevin Rose. Lee Pace, Ned The Piemaker. Well, let me be more specific. I like guys who are articulate and slightly geeky.

9. I collect every Nora Roberts book there is (except her In Death series. I figure since I'm collecting everything else she's ever written, I'll get started on that series when it finally ends).

10. I traveled to the US on my own. 22 hours on the plane and six layovers to get to Waterloo, Iowa. The airports got smaller and smaller. In the end, my Manila phone battery died. I had to teach myself to use a US pay phone for the first time in a small airport and I only had one US phone number memorized and 1 quarter.

11. I know how it feels to be kissed brainless, despite speculation of many to the contrary.

12. I love peppermint-y food and drinks. Mocha with peppermint. Candies. Gum. Chewy things. It weirds my friends out.

13. I always order exactly these three things at Teriyaki Boy: miso soup, tuna tempura sashimi and gyoza.

14. When I drive, I talk to other drivers on the road. I cuss them out and use the horn like there's no tomorrow. I give jeepney drivers the finger and overtake on the right side of the road. It freaks my passengers out. I never thought I had it in me. And still, I'm the wussiest driver in the family. Imagine my dad, sister and brother..

15. I only wore glasses in 2006. For some reason, people imagine me as having worn glasses since high school. Never thought I carried the nerdy aura so obviously. I hate my glasses. But I hate not being able to *read* signs more. If it has words (and I mean anything), I will read.

16. My room is messy. It drives my mom nuts to see my clothes and stuff dumped on the floor and hooks by the door. My sibs make a big deal out of seeing what the floor looks like when I clean up enough for them to see the tile on the ground.

17. I am a late-bloomer fan of makeup. Maybe has something to do with being able to start buying my own things when I got to work. Before that, all my allowance money was spent on books and photocopying schoolbooks. My perspective on makeup changed when my sister told me to "imagine that you're just painting your face with makeup paints and brushes."

18. I'm a sucker for romantic movies. I cry at key moments, sigh at dramatic entrances, and get misty-eyed with grand gestures.

19. I can't cook to save my life. I can do everything else domestic in the house but I will throw in the towel when it comes to cooking. I can sew curtains, wash floors, paint, do plumbing, troubleshoot your PC. I just can't figure the cooking thing. There's a joke in the house that I can overcook/undercook boiling water.

20. I wrote fanfic.

21. I can nap at the drop of a hat. Having worked graveyard shifts for the past seven years, I've trained myself to take sleep when I can.

22. I played kickass badminton when I was in high school. I can make that shuttlecock (wow that sounds dirty) zoom straight to your forehead so fast you can't avoid it. Alas, I didn't have the guts to try out for sports. We were a small private girls' school and people all had their places in the social structure. I was "Book Nerd" and "Editor In Chief", not "Athlete".

23. I've always loved salads. I choose to eat salads because it tastes so good, especially if you have the right dressing. My friends used to think I was dieting all the time, now they know that I just plain like eating greens.

24. I taught myself how to play the guitar. Nothing too fancy, but enough to be able to play a few chords with some level of confidence. I can play a few songs without a hitch. Next stop: Piano!

25. I do what my brother calls a 'system check' before I start the car: get in, check. Close the door, check. Turn on the ignition, check. Locks, gear in neutral, check. Seatbelt, check. I have a flight checklist in my mind before I go. If my sister hadn't named the car Bubbles, I woulda named my little gray Chevy Aveo "Starbuck" instead. In honor of both the coffee brand and the Battlestar Galactica character (honestly, who kicks ass harder than Kara "Starbuck" Thrace?)

25 things. Pass it on.

:: D said @ 7:36 PM [+] ::
...

Scared of the world outside? You should go explore.
Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors.

One of the things that we forget to do, especially when we're stressed with work, tired with everything else going on, is when we just settle to be insulated. I see this in many of my friends: those who are so focused with work, once the log out, they go home, turn on the TV and veg out till they go to sleep. Then they go to bed, wake up, go to work and do the same thing all over again.

There's so much more to life than just work, than just the happy couple-hood situation, than just reading a book inside your room, or watching TV shows. There's more to life than going online and 'meeting friends'.

This song just put the message out so perfectly for me when I first heard it. It's not even one of John Mayer's more popular songs. It's one of the b-sides of (I think) either Continuum or Heavier Things. Once I internalized the lyrics, I just couldn't help but play it over and over and over.

The song jolted me awake when I read it through. I was about to fall into the same rut of repetitive indoor monotony a few years ago. I was becoming a workaholic. I liked what I was doing so much that there was nothing else in my life but work. Even if productivity is a good thing, zero work-life balance isn't healthy. And the first step is to go outside and leaving the great indoors:

Check your pulse
Its proof that youre not listening to
The call your lifes been issuing you
The rhythm of a line of idle days

Scared of the world outside you should go explore
Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors
The great indoors

Lamplight makes the shadows play
And posters take the walls away
The TV is your window pane
The view wont let you down

So put your faith in a late night show
I bet you didnt even know
Depends on how far out you go
The channel numbers change

Scared of the world outside you should go explore
Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors

Though lately I cant blame you
I have seen the world
And sometimes wish your room had room for two

So go unlock the door
And find what you are here for
Leave the great indoors
Please leave the great indoors

Despite the questionable taste in women, songs like these prove JM's songwriting mettle. The song is more than the lyrics, though, which is why this is one of my favorites. The drum beats and ambient sound brings me to imagine sitting in a moving vehicle, seeing scenery passing me by.

:: D said @ 3:22 PM [+] ::
...

Its been a while since I posted here.

Posted elsewhere, that is.

Dislike my parents.

Stressed with school.

Questioning my career.

Seriously thinking about the possibility of being alone for the rest of my life.

Happy 2009.

:: D said @ 10:54 PM [+] ::
...

Tere is getting married!

She called me up yesterday to ask if I could be her maid of honor. Of course I said YES! YES YES YeS absolutely!

I asked about Grace, her sister, but it seems she can't make it. Sabi naman ni Tere if Grace can't make it, ako talaga yun. Yes, sister-of-my-heart, I'd be honored to stand with you and give you away to this amazing guy. He won big time with you my friend. Completely big time.

:: D said @ 2:45 PM [+] ::
...

Merry early Christmas to all.

Didn't really feel Christmassy until maybe yesterday when we had the company Christmas party.

I got this really nice cute red-and-green dress. What's great about it is that it's maroon red and olive green. Something I could wear outside of the holidays. And it's cut really nice and swishy at the legs. I wanted to wear a black velvet ribbon as a choker, but barring that, I used my mom's gold rose pendant, big gold hoop earrings and chunky gold bracelet. The winning accessory though was this red, green and black headband I got from the Rockwell bazaar. By some stroke of luck the red and green were in the exact same shade as the dress, and it was topped by shiny black feathers to complete the carnival theme. I was going for the gypsy look, so I curled my hair and wore thin strappy shoes.

La lang. I just wanted to talk about my dress, coz I looked good in it last night! :)

:: D said @ 2:38 AM [+] ::
...